my sisters under your porch take her home
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
