I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
