She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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