what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
