quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
