i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
