That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
