is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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