I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
