Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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