we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
