I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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