He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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