Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
