i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
