Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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