oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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