And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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