why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
