ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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