party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
