I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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