on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
