I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
