dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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