Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm jealous of your bromance
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Are we still banned from the library?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
