Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Did I show you my penis last night?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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