I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
