Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
