You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
