If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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