when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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