4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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