I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I will be naked everywhere
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
