'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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