week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
