My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
