My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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