ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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