There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
