I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
