So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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