You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
