i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
FUCK WHALES
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
