Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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