You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
