Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
