In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
