i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
