If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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