I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
