i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
